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Women Talk: The Russian Women Myth

18:35 15/03/2011
Weekly column by Svetlana Kolchik

As the biggest country on earth, Russia has countless natural treasures. But there is one that is valued more than any of the others, and I’m not talking about oil, gas, minerals or even Gold. These commodities are limited and their value fluctuates far too easily. The precious resource I am talking about is of course women.

© Photo Mikhail Kharlamov/Marie Claire Russia


I used to believe the myth of the Russian woman ended with the 90s mail-order bride boom, but the more I talk to foreigners in and outside Russia, the more I realize that it is in fact thriving like never before.

We, Russian women, remain a dream and a lure, an infallible investment motive for overseas entrepreneurs, an invaluable export item and a major tourist attraction. Why else would they dare to come to our cold and unpredictable lands?

"Where, where can I meet them?" a German friend of mine in his mid-30s kept probing me over dinner recently, his eyes rolling dreamily. A London-based lawyer, he went on his first visit to Moscow a few weeks ago. By "them" he meant Russian women, a curiosity he said seemed far more compelling than the Kremlin or Red Square for a first-time visitor to the Russian capital.

But this German wasn't on a simple trophy hunt, or I would have sent him straight to Night Flight, Soho Rooms or any other Moscow establishment geared towards showing Western males a good time. Disillusioned by a series of unsatisfying dates with British and German girls, my friend said he was looking for a long-term relationship. And Russia seemed to him the most promising place to look for a woman of wife-material. 

"London girls only want to talk about their careers and German girls wear sneakers on a date," he complained. 

I was in Paris for work last week. Excited to be visiting my favorite European city, I eagerly confessed mon amour pour Paris to a taxi driver. "Why don't you come to live here then? So many French men would love to marry femme russe!" he said matter-of-factly, before pouring out a lengthy list of complaints about
modern French women. Too independent, too unapproachable, too egotistic, too strong in a non-feminine way... 

It seems that as the social (and physical) differences between the sexes gradually dissipate in most Western countries, Russia still offers a unique gender relations ambience that combines the best of two worlds: an intriguing blend of emancipation and tradition. Even if a Russian woman earns 10 times more than her boyfriend, she will never let it show. No matter where we stand on the social and financial ladder, we are set to empower men, at times perhaps tolerating too much, to ensure traditional gender roles are followed.

I'd emphasize the word "roles" here - it's a game in which our women have excelled throughout the years of Soviet and post-Soviet history. We masquerade our incredible inner strength and endurance with a soft, at times very vulnerable, facade. It's part of our feminine mystique: we play it weak knowing we are perfectly capable. We encourage men to carry our bags, bring us flowers, fix our cars and even run the country.

Add the unconscious inner drive to always try to look our best (losing our males to all those wars, repressions and alcohol have taught us to compete like animals other for the remaining guys) and it's no wonder that Western guys flock to Russia.

"French women aren't as demanding as the Russian ones, they might even volunteer to pay for themselves on a date, but you pay a higher price afterwards," says a Moscow-based French acquaintance of mine.

He said more and more French women tend to choose their careers over their partners, even after they get married.

"Russian women are genuine," he said. "Family is always a priority for you no matter what, and that's really cool."

So it's the weaker sex then that's Russia's most valued treasure, the natural resource whose value isn’t affected by economic, or any other crises. And we must cherish our femininity, not only as a means of attracting men, but also for our own pleasure. And I think the innate strength and vigor, our most deeply ingrained survival mechanisms, will always stay with us.

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Women Talk: Why he doesn't call

Women Talk: Too Much of a New Year

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Women Talk: Should I stay or should I go?

Women Talk: The ups and downs of the singles era

Women Talk: Why are our men so socially passive?

Women Talk: A Search for a Fantasy Husband

Women Talk: The Escapist Journalism Dilemma

Women Talk: Have relationships become too easy?

Women Talk: House Hubbies

Women Talk: Russian men don't exist any more

Women Talk: Confusion in Options

*

Russia has always been referred to as feminine and Russian women have been one of the most popular stereotypes of this nation, both positive and negative. But is this an all-male fantasy? Here is a hip, modern, professional and increasingly globalized Russian woman looking at the trends around her, both about her gender and the society at large. She talks and lets other women talk.

Svetlana Kolchik, 33, is deputy editor-in-chief of the Russian edition of Marie Claire magazine. She holds degrees from the Moscow State University Journalism Department and Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. She has worked for Argumenty i Fakty weekly in Moscow and USA Today in Washington, D.C., and contributed to RussiaProfile.org, Russian editions of Vogue, Forbes and other publications.

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RIA NovostiWomen Talk: The Russian Women Myth

18:35 15/03/2011 As the biggest country on earth, Russia has countless natural treasures. But there is one that is valued more than any of the others, and I’m not talking about oil, gas, minerals or even Gold. These commodities are limited and their value fluctuates far too easily. The precious resource I am talking about is of course women.>>

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  • bahramconfirmation
    15:13, 16/03/2011
    I would like to confirm that by far the most beautiful women I have ever seen were Russian. Not only are they stunningly beautiful, they have fabulous figures, amazing skin, very feminine, and are friendly too. How can anyone forget the sight of beautiful Russian girls walking in the sreets of Moscow, with their high heels and big fur hats, 2 meters tall and 30cm wide. I am fairly sure the houris of Paradise look like them.
    • caleb(no title)
      15:21, 16/03/2011
      Isn't it disturbing that she speaks about 'Russian Women' as a 'resource'?
      Reply | Comments: 1Expand branch
    • dimitriusrussian women
      20:26, 16/03/2011
      to have aclear pictur e of a rusina woman no matter how old is she yo mustt see her beahaviors as an imigrant.. nothing to do with the above picture..
    • antfreRussian women
      21:57, 17/03/2011
      They are really beautifull and elegant. Where were all these women during the Soviet era? I never saw a beautifull feminine face in Communist Russia.
    • kutz13Yes, but...
      16:04, 18/03/2011
      Yes, there are some very beautiful ladies from Russia - and Ukraine, Belorus, Poland, Estonia, Moldova etc. All nations have their beauties, and the opposites.
      But beauty is only skin deep isn't it?
    • JohnNRace and power in objectifying women
      20:27, 20/03/2011
      Russian women are "beautiful" because most in Western Russia are caucasian - blond, tall, nordic features - and the global definition of beauty ranks such features highest.

      Well, Mme. Kochik IS an editor for a beauty/fashion magazine so such a perspective is to be expected.

      However, this viewpoint is pernicious for Russian girls and women (and doesn't help men either), as well as being quite hazardous for women of other races who will endanger their health by using skin-lighteners, hair-bleachers/straightners, eye-lid lifting, diet-pills, lipsuction, etc, etc.

      As bad as the old Soviet regime was, at least there seemed to be an official embarrassment about objectifying women, but the current regime seems to have joined the dominant, consumerist culture and has no remorse at all about this cultural and racial issue.
    • colin@colinart.comUntypical Russian Women
      13:23, 25/03/2011
      Beware those who trade on the genuinely loved character of real Russian women. Simply because they are Russian born, or living in Russia, does not ensure these same qualities. My Russian was a monster, a nightmare, a complete fraud. She simply traded on the general reputation of Russian women to make my life a living hell. She was nothing like the typical Russian woman. She hacked my website, harasses me constantly and my life is threatened when I return. I will write a book about this who should receive an exorcism. I wish it was not true.
    • logica82Never fall in love with a Russian woman!
      23:45, 26/03/2011
      The web is full of nastu stories of western men regreting their falling in love with a dubious Russian girl whose relative charms don't match her disastrous caracter. One should forget that Russian people are the result of a bizarre crossing between many races including tatare tribes reknowh for their extreme cruaulty. The first natives of Russia were already famous for the beauty of their female specimen which were often sold as slaves to the Arab merchants before the conversion of their Viking masters, the Varegues, which was the superior race ruling the slavic countries during these dark times. There is something left of this era in the psychology of the Russian women which need persistenly to take revenge against men by making their marital life as infernal as they can. Well kicking them out shouldn't be too difficult any way in these times of extreme liberty.
    • ellybrazilSvetlana Kolchik
      18:25, 02/04/2011
      I am trying to stablish contact with Russian woman without success for 3 years. Can you give me some orientation that how to do this in a secure manner? Free of scammers! Sorry it's hard to believe in Russian woman!!
    • troy8418largest country
      02:41, 10/04/2011
      canada is the largest country in the world
      • JohnNRussia not bigger than Canada
        03:23, 10/04/2011
        Canada is large at 9.9 million kms2, but it is second to Russia, which is the largest country in the world at 17 million kms2. To link to the topic of Kolchik's column on women, there are many similarities between the situation of women in Canada and Russia.

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